His surprise!

It was this Tuesday that I felt like I needed to play the piano.So I decided to go to the music faculty after settling some errands in the library.I was excited.After like 3 weeks not hearing the piano,I felt a bit lost.

I am serious.I cannot imagine how I would be if there were no pianos here.

So,I was excited when I recalled what my friend said that  there were grand pianos in the rooms.I was overwhelmed.No words could express the joy in my heart.

So I went to the purple building,the most colourful building in the whole faculty.I went to the office and said that I wanted to use the piano.And then,one of the clerks questioned me about which faculty I was in so I boldly said the Science and Maths faculty.Plus,I was in a band for my college so I told that I wanted to practise the piano (although the real reason was to play the piano for my own pleasure).

They refused to let me play the piano.I was so disappointed and I left the office,thanking them before I left.

I walked upstairs and there I saw many rooms.On every door,were signs that were written 'Bilik Keyboard'.I tried my best to push the doors,but my weight was overpowered by the strong doors.Again,I felt disappointed.However,I kept walking and then I saw an Indian girl and another girl who were playing the piano.I knocked on the door and walked inside.

I told them the truth that I wanted to play for fun and so one of the girls told me that she would gladly let me play the piano if and only if she didn't have her piano exam that was that day itself.So I said it's okay because her piano exam was much more important.She did suggest that I go to the Bilik Penerbit Muzik to ask for permission to use the one of the piano rooms because according to her,those were the people in charge of the all the rooms there.

So I went to the Bilik Penerbit Muzik,feeling my hopes lighten again,but as soon as I went inside the room,a Malay man gave me a sceptical look.And he was the one who asked first.

"Where are you from?"

And I told the truth.

And then he said that students from other faculties were not allowed to use the instruments here as they were afraid of damage and all that.And there were 4 other men there who looked at me too,so I didn't have the urge to actually ask or argue more and left.

And then I went again to the office,feeling angry.I was angry.I mean it's really not fair that only the students here were allowed to used the instruments.I don't mind paying too of they asked me.As long as I had the feel of it.

I told the office clerk that I wanted to see the dean.But he told me that he would send his secretary first.So I waited for her and when she came,I prayed that I spoke the right words.So I told her that I came here just to play the piano and she said that I wasn't allowed to at all.I actually begged her to let me use the piano hoping that she would,but she didn't.

So I left the office feeling sad.I just don't believe it.I cried.I never felt so rejected.This was indubitably a bad bad day.

I walked through the alley and then I saw a room.There was a girl holding a violin and looking at the piano chords I guess.I walked in and told her whether I could play the piano.Well,it wasn't a grand piano,it was just an upright piano.She did let me use the piano!I felt like screaming,but I knew I couldn't.I felt the joy of my heart.So I played the piano for about half an hour or so.I was so happy.After all that I went through,this was something..I thanked the girl for allowing me to play the piano.

And I thanked God for that short opportunity I had.It made the rest of the day better.God provided that moment for me when everything seemed bleak.He knew how to turn situations and I need to know that I need to be patient and just wait.

Her

I went out with them.I felt uncomfortable and awkward.I didn't open up.I didn't pour out what was aching inside me.And they probably thought that everything was fine with me.They said they knew me.But only I knew how wrong they were.They don't know me.They don't know how my heart aches,how I feel.They have only seen me during my cheerful times.Or at least when I was trying to be cheerful.

And somehow whenever I am with them,I feel that there are so selfish.All they want is fame.They want to be famous.Money.Fame and money.Two elements that are so foreign to my body.I was with a group who wanted to be the best,to beat the rest.Little did they know that while they were on their way to be the best,they pushed everyone that blocked their path.The world was for them.Never have I hear them speak of helping the poor,or that special thing that was in them-Love.I never saw it at all.

Was it so hard to love?Have you ever thought about my feelings?Do you think you know my love language?

I thought about all that and then suddenly I thought about her.She was so far away.I need to take the flight to reach her.She was so far away.But yet she was so close to my heart that every time I think of a friend,and when I mean a friend,I mean a real definition of a friend,I think of her.In the midst of selfishness and greed,I thought of her.She was so far away.But there was this special attraction about her-her gentleness.The way she spoke to her parents with such love and respect,the way she would play with her younger brother though he is annoying.She had that special thing.

And when she came to my house a month ago,we played the piano.And she introduced me this wonderful piece.I am still working on it.And the trip to the mall.The conversations we had,was so deep.So deep that no one could reach that amount of depth.We talked about boys and I don't like talking about boys and boy-girl relationship unless if I am forced to or if it comes naturally.And in this case,it did come naturally when I spoke to her.Not even could I relate to my parents like the way I did to her.But she did it.She dived into the core of my heart.I told her my feelings,my despair that I never shared with anyone.She was of a different species.Very rare.She wasn't into fame nor money.She was so easy going that anyone could connect with her.But deep down,only I knew about her that others didn't know.It is intriguing actually,that somehow she manged to cure my heart just my me opening up the wounded parts.Maybe because she was elder,she was more matured.And I was glad that I did opened up to her.

My heart was very picky.It would scan a person first before marking them as capable friends.I am glad my heart did a good job in finding her.

I thought about her.She was so far away.She might not know this but hopefully someday when she reads it,she would know that it is about her.

Intersection

Most of the time especially during these past few months,I need to be alone.I don't need someone to actually be there for me.

All I need is myself.I need to be alone to talk to my mind.There is something in the mind that needs to be shared with me.Or incidents that has happened and it needs to be shared with me.It's a moment where the mind and the heart poured out it's inner content to me.

Those moments spent alone with the mind was as good enough as it was spending it with a friend.At times I realize I don't actually need someone to be there,I already had it.And it was in me.

I could just stare at the wall and though people would think I am a retard,but only I know that I was in deep thoughts thinking of something.And most of the time I realize that the thinking was about me and at very few times it involved around people.

It's special,that moment with the mind.It's as though my senses are all alive.My feelings would soon respond to whatever the mind has spoken.And when I was aware,I knew.I knew that the senses in my body has somehow aggravated as a result of the intersection-the intersection between the mind and the heart.

Graduation.

Today I witnessed graduation.The 15th convocation in the university.I saw the smiles that lit their faces.They wore robes,of different colours.I saw most of them with their mortarboards on.I saw bouquet of flowers everywhere.Families were there too to celebrate the occasion.They are all going to graduate.I felt happy for them.In 4 years time,hopefully I would sense the excitement.

I saw their happy faces.All happy faces.I believed those who did really well were proud of themselves.I wonder how would it be like for me.

I saw a mini orchestra,at two sides of the auditorium.Saxophones and trumpets were played once the deans gave their speech.Though it was rather loud,but seeing the perform live was just something so different and exciting..A mini orchestra performing!

And then I saw the royal highness of Perak sitting in the middle of the stage.Cameras were all directed towards her.I didn't stay until the end of the event but in my mind I had already imagined them receiving their certificates from the princess of Perak.I imagined the faces of my family,relatives and friends who would be there someday,to celebrate with me.

The start

The old campus and the new campus are so far away.Ok maybe not that far but well we need to take the shuttle bus.And so today for class,since Malaysian Studies was in the old campus and class ended at 10 am.At 10 am,I need to go back to the new campus for Statistics class and I thought this was the end!Late for the first class ever.And I couldn't help but to feel slightly resentful for not following Yan Ruu earlier.But when we got there,she wasn't there.She came later.She said she took the wrong bus.Luckily there wasn't any lecturer in class yet.Luckily.

And so our lecturer was the middle-aged woman who looked fierce.However we did not study anything today as she said there would be some adjustments in the time table and the group.I looked around.Ok,I am the only Indian in my class.This felt really weird.Only Indian.Wow.I was scared.There were only 5 boys and 25 girls.I wasn't so surprised at the vast difference.

As I passed through the buildings,I realized that there were all fairly new.But the buildings however were so close to one another and it didn't have a taste of the past as compared to the old campus.The lecture rooms were all new.I saw many beakers as I passed through a Chemistry lab,all arranged neatly.I smiled to myself.No more Chemistry.For now at least.

In the afternoon,was Calculus period.A Malay lecturer came in and he looked like the no-nonsense type of man.But later as he briefly explained the chapters,I realized that he wasn't the very strict type.Good.

Why do professors have to be strict in the first place?

And so he taught us a little bit on functions.Injective and Bijective functions.New terms.But it was all revision.So it was okay.

In the evening,we cancelled our class.No lecturer appeared and we left class after about half an hour or so.

Later when I got back home and checked the name of the lecturer,I was surprised to know that her name was Annie.I wonder how she would be like.

No assignments for today.I couldn't help but to wonder how the rest of the week would be like.