Them.

I don't need the whole world to be friends with me.

All I need is a circle of friends.

And I realised how important these friends are to me.

The four of us in Yacht Club,Port Dickson.

Good friends,I call them

They well,enjoy your presence,and the best part of it all

you feel completely at ease with them.

And I am lucky to have wonderful friends 

who are there for me

because without them,

I don't think life would be as colourful.

These are the people that means a lot to me.

They are more than friends.

I love them.

Friends.

You guys mean a lot to me.

My church friend,Charmaine and I.

Love life

So here I am back again with more stuff to share.

I've been thinking lately about life.I realised that time seem to past by so fast especially when you're having fun with your friends or doing the things that you like.

And then I thought about life.How life can be so short.I am already 19 this year.19.This is my last teenage year.I can't believe it.I am practically an adult already.Independence and freedom are slowly sipping into my life.Then there are decisions and tough choices to make.I realised being an adult is like having this extra sense.

I am very nervous about the future actually.Because I don't know what is going to happen next.Back in school,all I knew was that the future would be going to a next form and etc.But now,it is a whole different thing.I will be exposed to the world.The people out there and all,the working life and all.

Now that's a lot to grasp for a young 18 year old like me.From being taken care of everything by my beloved parents to being independent.That's seriously something to be worried.

Mistakes are bound to happen.I have and would made mistakes.Such examples would be choosing the right friends and so on.These things are not foreseen by me.

So I thought about it.And this was what I finally came up to.Life would be full of disappointments,heartbreaks,loneliness and so on.But no matter what happens,I would still embrace life and continue moving forth.Because I know that life is beautiful and I will love life for all it has given to me no matter what happens.Will you too?

Dear God...

Dear God,

Thank you for creating me,

thank you for loving me,

I never liked myself before,

I compared myself to other people,

But then You made me for who I am,

I am unique and special in my own way,

Even if anything happens,

I know you'll be there for me.

I look at the trees outside,

I look at the sea,

I force myself to look at the sun

I see you radiating your love

Like a bright torchlight illuminating some dark alley.

If I were to commit suicide,

Oh how foolish I'll be,

The world would miss me,

But most importantly

I would never have tasted and felt You.

People say You don't exist,

I say 'They are all  fools".

Shouldn't there be a creator for the sun,

the moon and the stars?

Could a human being possibly just evolved into earth 

just like that?

You created the heavens and the earth

You created me in your likeness.

Thank You for creating me,

I wonder how long it would have been

to mould be into a young girl I am today,

I look at myself at the mirror

and I am mesmerised for my features

and for who I am.

You created the best in me.

Thank You God.

For everything and seeing me through 2012.

I am the Indian girl.

So it was the time of the year where my family and I celebrated the festival of lights.The last I wore a Lengga during Diwali was when I was a kid (about 7 or 8).I would usually wear a top and a my one and only pair of jeans.This year,however was completely different for me.The night before Diwali,I told my mum I wanted to buy a Lengga.The Lengga is the short top (usually Lenggas have sequins and designs) and along skirt.\

I never liked wearing Punjabi Suits either.Punjabi Suits are more commonly used than Lengga because it's easier to walk.

Insert are pictures of Lengga.

The Lengga that I wore to my grandma's house was a pink one.When I entered the flats,my aunties and uncles were surprised.

"Wah,so pretty la you Savitha (my Tamil name)!,"my aunt exclaimed.My uncles and cousins were equally surprised.And then when I looked around I realised that I was the ONLY one that wore a traditional Indian costume.

Well,I'm back home now and I thought about the Lengga.I realised that traditional Indian costumes are so richly designed (sequins and the embroidery) .These are all my traditional costume.It depicts who I am.I am an Indian and I am proud of it.I am proud of the Tamil language (though I am not fluent at all).But I am learning.Indeed each race has its own identity and it's up to you to unleash the beauty of it!

A pic of me wearing my lengga next to my cousin bro.

There are times where I get depressed and sad.There are times where I need someone to talk to.Sometimes,friends are kinda disappointing.The only person whom I can turn to is God-the Big Man up there.

And then I wish that Jesus was in his human form.I would run to him and embrace him and spend the whole day just talking to him.I would tell him "I love you,I love you".I picture myself talking to him,telling him about my ups and downs.I imagine him holding me and hugging me.That ideal picture is so vivid in my memory.

The reason I like to be alone sometimes is so that I can talk to Him.But I'm in my home now.Want to go wandering around in this neighbourhood?I peep through my window,see the cars lining up bumper to bumper.Drivers honking their cars from all direction.Maybe not.

No,the best place would be the beach.I need to hear the sound of the waves.I need to feel my legs sinking in the sand.I want to lay down and tell God everything.Of course I can do it here,in my bedroom or in the back room.But it's nothing like nature,so richly created in the palms of his hands.

I need the beach!!

A view of the beach in Port Dickson

What's life without taking a risk?

My mum used to teach in a boarding school in Seremban (Kolej Tunku Kurshiah).I remember asking her a few questions about the students there and all.She told my dad and me this

"There was one class whom I thought.The students there were all bright and they all took risks."

For a moment,I wondered what kind of risk they took as students.And then my mum further explained that they were the bold ones-they entered all sorts of competition and they were all very adventurous" .

So here I am in KMM (Kolej Matrikulasi Melaka),thinking about how to get my co-curricular marks.Since I came in late,there was no way I could represent KMM in running.Danggg!There goes my hopes,flushed down.

And then my co-curricular teacher entered our class and he told us this
"Sesiapa yang ingin menubuhkan apa-apa persatuan,mesti mendapat sekurang-kurangnya 30 orang" .And then I remembered that all the other clubs had enough members.Some societies were even full.

This is it,I told myself.I will start a club.How?

So I went to the English Unit,and saw this Indian teacher.I told her that I wanted to start an English Club.She agreed to be the teacher advisor while the head advisor was Miss Brenda atfer speaking to the Head of English Department.

But the most important thing was the numbers.How was I going to get 30 people?

So Nala and I went aroung sticking colour papers all around the blocks.We even gave an announcement.

Big Man up there heard my pleas,and soon after that,girls came to my room and started signing up for the club.Well,there are 50 people now!Woah!Thats a lot!

Thank you Lord.You heard me.I was delighted over the number of students who signed up(though there are only um,10 boys).

And now,I have to think about all the activities to be carried out during semester 2!Ahhhh!!!

The sound of music......

The sound of the piano lingers in her mind.She is waiting to get back to her piano.She can't wait.

And then she sees it.It's not a grand piano,like the those in the an orchestra.It's the old ancient one.Still there,still untouched since she last played it.She wondered if anyone played it since she left.

She sees the black cloth covering all the keys as she lifts up the lid.She takes off the black cloth,surprised to see the keys all clean,there was no room for dust there.There are some old manuscripts on the top of the piano.She doesn't need the books or the manuscripts.

Then she sits down and takes a deep breath.She imagines herself to be in an orchestra.People are watching her.It's her turn now.Then she plays her favourite song.At times,she would play the notes softer and at times louder,depending on her mood.The piano is how she expresses her her emotions.The old ancient piano and her,in the small room.

She plays the piano flawlessly.She does not look at the keys all the time.She misses this.The sound of music.Only the piano knows how she feels.Her soul longs for it.Longing for that sound produced by her hands.She needs that sound for it satisfies her soul.It's like a connection.She's connected to it.Connected through music.