Mystery

I just don't know what I want to be.This feeling is terrible when most of my friends know what they are going to do.And sometimes when I think of the future,I feel so scared.I am not ready for it..

I really like Maths.Maths is my favourite subject.This is really weird because I wasn't a fan of Maths nor Add Maths back in secondary school.However,I did like it when I was in form 1 though.But anyway,this sounds crazy.Ron,my church friend was shocked when I told him that I was going to do Maths.
When I tell people that I am going to do something with Maths in the future,they all give me this funny look.

Actually,I started liking Maths in semester 2.Integration caught my heart.I couldn't say the same for Differentiation back in sem 1.But I liked all the Maths topics in semester 2.Probability an me didn't get along at first sight,but after much practice,I swallowed it all in my head.It's also my favourite topic in semester 2.So in Matriculation.there is no further maths and it is also way easier compared to Maths in form 6.So,when I enter uni in September,I have a strong,gut feeling that it would be harder,way harder.

I talked to my Maths lecturer and she said this "Maths in matrics is way easy lah compared to uni".
For a moment,I was very doubtful about it.And then I was like what the heck la.Nothing in life is easy.The phrase I always use to comfort myself when things are difficult.

So,I applied for courses related to Maths.

I am really nervous and excited about the future.Nervous because I don't know which course I would be offered in the local university and excited because my relationship with Maths  never ended.

But at the same time,I feel that I am a language person.I like English a lot.I like to read,and write and debate.So I had a conversation with one of my friends and she said this.

"You should take up law la.You'll make a good lawyer".

My foundation of a secure relationship with Mathematics suddenly became shaky.Maybe law is good also.

But then,if I were to take up law,I would have to read all the books on law.Tons and tons of books.Ok,I am exaggerating,but it's true.All those law books.No wayyyyy.Yes,I like to read.But I prefer reading fiction and non-fiction(biographies mostly) books.No doubt reading all those law cases are all interesting.But all the memorizing stuffed into your brain.NO WAY.

And so,I guess Maths would always never leave me.Maths is like this guy chasing this girl(me) and here I am looking,and checking out other "guys".You know what I mean.So,I found out that Maths was the one for me all this time.

Hopefully.I do hope we would get engaged soon.But in whatever I do,God,please lead the way.You know my future.Amen.