Crumpled

I just hate that feeling when you're so excited about something,an event or what,and only much alter will you realize how screwed it was.How the tears are going to burst and you're just resisting that urge to not let the tear come out.And here you are so excited about it,but it backfires.Today was just terrible.And I just hate it when somebody puts you down.And I feel so down,down....

And today especially,I was really down especially when I am with a certain bunch of friends.And then I thought.Was it my fault?They didn't do anything wrong.But I knew I let them down.So badly.I could see from their expression.That was why I lied and said I had something on.But instead,I had nothing on so I had lunch on my own.

I cried when I reached home.I wish I had a really close friend.I wish I had this one and only friend.

I realize I wanted friends because I wanted to feel belonged.to feel loved.But not everyone could give you that kind of love.And I wonder how long would I have to wait.