Do what you love.

Back in uni alreadyyyyy!Luckily the roommate was already there if not I would have to sleep alone in this apartment for a night.Sounds so scary especially when there are hardly anyone in this block since most of them would be coming back on Sunday.

But yeah a week of semester break felt like 5 days only as the rest of the 4 days I had to catch up with assignments,completing them all to feel the satisfaction.

I watched THOR-the movie where everyone praised as though it was some great movie of the year but it wasn't for me.There were more fight scenes,and I was bored already.It was just like watching an ordinary movie on HBO or Star Movies.

But at least,now I know who Chris Hemsworth is.But yeah,he is really good looking.The brother of Liam Hemsworth.Oh and I watched it with Mum so yeah I did spend some time with her chatting about university and careers and all.My mind felt lighter I think.

I always need to tell people how I feel about something.It is weird.I could even tell a stranger about it.I wouldn't say that my brain's smart to do so,because a smart brain would tell me to give information to certain people but well,my brain's weird.Weird brain.

I did venture into the Chinese hawker stalls,just to feel the satisfaction of the stomach.I still remember the feel of the dumpling-prawn dumpling.Delicious!

As I looked at the stalls while talking to both of them,I wondered how it must be like to open up a Chinese food stall.The hours put in to make the dough for the noodles,the hot soup.It is a hard life but yet I saw determination in the young hawker's face as he cooked the fried vegetables.They worked hard,a hard life.
And I wondered to myself as I looked at him.

Would you want another job?Do you like the job?

I wondered to myself.
I felt sorry for him.Maybe you didn't have the opportunity young one.

Do people go for careers that would earn them a lifetime or would they go for careers that loved them?

I thought about it and when I did chat with some people,money seemed to be the main priority.So you go for jobs that gave you a good catch eh?

I couldn't help but to feel sorry for them.
You chose a career that would give you a lot of $$,

I chose a career that would make me say,
My job is like chocolate,
I would taste it's goodness,
Just like how I would taste the goodness of my career

To the rest of you all,
I wish you all the best,
I hope you don't have a mental breakdown
And tell me one day
"I don't like my job.I cannot tahan."

This is a little piece of advise from me.

DO WHAT YOU LOVE.
Don't do something just because of the outcome of it.
Do it cos you love it.

Here's a quote from Steve Jobs
"The only way to do great work is to love what you do."

Broken

Broken am I as I looked at their pictures and noticed that

they would only hang out with their own kind,

they were all East Malaysians,

not a single WEST MALAYSIAN,

Angry seems to be the right word here

but somehow it doesn't feel right,

I just came back from the land of the natives

I felt so close to them,

And here,

I feel the anger rising,

this can't be happening,

What's worst is that

They are all so unfriendly

Only a few would talk

But still to get to that point of intimacy

Is so damn hard.

At times,the only thing I would wonder to myself whenever I see you...

"Why do you hate me so much?"

Ok,maybe I am just assuming.
But it feels so weird,every time you stare at me
Like I am an alien or something.
Why oh why?

Farewell,friend.

Today,time passed by really fast especially when we were all having a good time.

But I knew today would end fast.

Just before you go,I wanna tell you something.

Thank you for being a dear friend to me,
teaching me how to drive(when I was such a lousy driver)

I cannot imagine being so close to you after a wide gap.
We were close in kindergarten,
though I hated you then,
I remember we going and coming back in the same school van
When we arrived at your house,
you would be just about to put your shoes on.

And I wondered to myself "What a laid back boy you are".
Never saw you in primary school as we went separate paths.

But in high school,I met you.
I don't think it gave me much excitement to see this rascal AGAIN,
but nevertheless we were in different class.
Girls(those whom I knew) liked you,
Though I never understood that attraction about you
You were tall,and just ordinary looking
Plus you were such a rascal
I didn't see that as an attraction

Years passed by and we were in the same class
I joined the bowling club
and you were already representing school
So then you taught us the right technique to bowl
And though the first few rounds,I managed to hit the pins
The rest of the rounds the ball went rolling towards the drain

But you taught me the basics
With a lot of care
So my perspective changed about you
"How could you be a rascal in class and out here,a different person?"
This question bugged me

After SPM,we did hang out as a gang
And only then I realised that you were a different person,
Matured and wiser,
With the right advise for different situations

After more hangouts,
I realized that you accepted me for who I am

Some of the things that you say will always be carved in my heart,
Anne is the limewire of the gang la.Without you,the gang would be so boring
Funny girl...

And other stuff that you will always tell me,
But deep down inside,those words made me smile,
Those words kept me for who I am.

Since you're leaving soon already,
Couldn't cry in front of you,
As I had to hold the tears from gushing out,

I just wanna say

I am lucky to have you as a friend.
I am blessed to know you.
I love you very much.
Though it's only a year,and I know you're pretty excited to embark a new journey,
But I am sad.
Sad because you'll be so far away.

I want you to know
That I appreciate our time together.
And again,
I love you.

Here there are a number of Sarawakians and Sabahans.And every time I look at them,there is this weird sensation inside me.It reminds me of Long Lamai.And whenever I walk past them or look at them,it feels as though they've brought a part of home here.Home.And whenever I talk to them,Long Lamai would always be slipped into the conversation.

When I went for my first CF here last week,the memories came rushing through.From the way they spoke to the alkitab,and the prayer said aloud.The only thing that came to mind all the time was Long Lamai.They did this too.Their names were all very weird too.Just like home.

And a part of me,wanted to reach out to them.It was as though I knew them.I want to connect to them.Just like how connections were created freely in Long Lamai.

They don't really know me yet.They don't know that my love for them was there,because every time I looked at them,I saw home through their eyes.

Only time will tell.

His surprise!

It was this Tuesday that I felt like I needed to play the piano.So I decided to go to the music faculty after settling some errands in the library.I was excited.After like 3 weeks not hearing the piano,I felt a bit lost.

I am serious.I cannot imagine how I would be if there were no pianos here.

So,I was excited when I recalled what my friend said that  there were grand pianos in the rooms.I was overwhelmed.No words could express the joy in my heart.

So I went to the purple building,the most colourful building in the whole faculty.I went to the office and said that I wanted to use the piano.And then,one of the clerks questioned me about which faculty I was in so I boldly said the Science and Maths faculty.Plus,I was in a band for my college so I told that I wanted to practise the piano (although the real reason was to play the piano for my own pleasure).

They refused to let me play the piano.I was so disappointed and I left the office,thanking them before I left.

I walked upstairs and there I saw many rooms.On every door,were signs that were written 'Bilik Keyboard'.I tried my best to push the doors,but my weight was overpowered by the strong doors.Again,I felt disappointed.However,I kept walking and then I saw an Indian girl and another girl who were playing the piano.I knocked on the door and walked inside.

I told them the truth that I wanted to play for fun and so one of the girls told me that she would gladly let me play the piano if and only if she didn't have her piano exam that was that day itself.So I said it's okay because her piano exam was much more important.She did suggest that I go to the Bilik Penerbit Muzik to ask for permission to use the one of the piano rooms because according to her,those were the people in charge of the all the rooms there.

So I went to the Bilik Penerbit Muzik,feeling my hopes lighten again,but as soon as I went inside the room,a Malay man gave me a sceptical look.And he was the one who asked first.

"Where are you from?"

And I told the truth.

And then he said that students from other faculties were not allowed to use the instruments here as they were afraid of damage and all that.And there were 4 other men there who looked at me too,so I didn't have the urge to actually ask or argue more and left.

And then I went again to the office,feeling angry.I was angry.I mean it's really not fair that only the students here were allowed to used the instruments.I don't mind paying too of they asked me.As long as I had the feel of it.

I told the office clerk that I wanted to see the dean.But he told me that he would send his secretary first.So I waited for her and when she came,I prayed that I spoke the right words.So I told her that I came here just to play the piano and she said that I wasn't allowed to at all.I actually begged her to let me use the piano hoping that she would,but she didn't.

So I left the office feeling sad.I just don't believe it.I cried.I never felt so rejected.This was indubitably a bad bad day.

I walked through the alley and then I saw a room.There was a girl holding a violin and looking at the piano chords I guess.I walked in and told her whether I could play the piano.Well,it wasn't a grand piano,it was just an upright piano.She did let me use the piano!I felt like screaming,but I knew I couldn't.I felt the joy of my heart.So I played the piano for about half an hour or so.I was so happy.After all that I went through,this was something..I thanked the girl for allowing me to play the piano.

And I thanked God for that short opportunity I had.It made the rest of the day better.God provided that moment for me when everything seemed bleak.He knew how to turn situations and I need to know that I need to be patient and just wait.

Her

I went out with them.I felt uncomfortable and awkward.I didn't open up.I didn't pour out what was aching inside me.And they probably thought that everything was fine with me.They said they knew me.But only I knew how wrong they were.They don't know me.They don't know how my heart aches,how I feel.They have only seen me during my cheerful times.Or at least when I was trying to be cheerful.

And somehow whenever I am with them,I feel that there are so selfish.All they want is fame.They want to be famous.Money.Fame and money.Two elements that are so foreign to my body.I was with a group who wanted to be the best,to beat the rest.Little did they know that while they were on their way to be the best,they pushed everyone that blocked their path.The world was for them.Never have I hear them speak of helping the poor,or that special thing that was in them-Love.I never saw it at all.

Was it so hard to love?Have you ever thought about my feelings?Do you think you know my love language?

I thought about all that and then suddenly I thought about her.She was so far away.I need to take the flight to reach her.She was so far away.But yet she was so close to my heart that every time I think of a friend,and when I mean a friend,I mean a real definition of a friend,I think of her.In the midst of selfishness and greed,I thought of her.She was so far away.But there was this special attraction about her-her gentleness.The way she spoke to her parents with such love and respect,the way she would play with her younger brother though he is annoying.She had that special thing.

And when she came to my house a month ago,we played the piano.And she introduced me this wonderful piece.I am still working on it.And the trip to the mall.The conversations we had,was so deep.So deep that no one could reach that amount of depth.We talked about boys and I don't like talking about boys and boy-girl relationship unless if I am forced to or if it comes naturally.And in this case,it did come naturally when I spoke to her.Not even could I relate to my parents like the way I did to her.But she did it.She dived into the core of my heart.I told her my feelings,my despair that I never shared with anyone.She was of a different species.Very rare.She wasn't into fame nor money.She was so easy going that anyone could connect with her.But deep down,only I knew about her that others didn't know.It is intriguing actually,that somehow she manged to cure my heart just my me opening up the wounded parts.Maybe because she was elder,she was more matured.And I was glad that I did opened up to her.

My heart was very picky.It would scan a person first before marking them as capable friends.I am glad my heart did a good job in finding her.

I thought about her.She was so far away.She might not know this but hopefully someday when she reads it,she would know that it is about her.

Intersection

Most of the time especially during these past few months,I need to be alone.I don't need someone to actually be there for me.

All I need is myself.I need to be alone to talk to my mind.There is something in the mind that needs to be shared with me.Or incidents that has happened and it needs to be shared with me.It's a moment where the mind and the heart poured out it's inner content to me.

Those moments spent alone with the mind was as good enough as it was spending it with a friend.At times I realize I don't actually need someone to be there,I already had it.And it was in me.

I could just stare at the wall and though people would think I am a retard,but only I know that I was in deep thoughts thinking of something.And most of the time I realize that the thinking was about me and at very few times it involved around people.

It's special,that moment with the mind.It's as though my senses are all alive.My feelings would soon respond to whatever the mind has spoken.And when I was aware,I knew.I knew that the senses in my body has somehow aggravated as a result of the intersection-the intersection between the mind and the heart.

Graduation.

Today I witnessed graduation.The 15th convocation in the university.I saw the smiles that lit their faces.They wore robes,of different colours.I saw most of them with their mortarboards on.I saw bouquet of flowers everywhere.Families were there too to celebrate the occasion.They are all going to graduate.I felt happy for them.In 4 years time,hopefully I would sense the excitement.

I saw their happy faces.All happy faces.I believed those who did really well were proud of themselves.I wonder how would it be like for me.

I saw a mini orchestra,at two sides of the auditorium.Saxophones and trumpets were played once the deans gave their speech.Though it was rather loud,but seeing the perform live was just something so different and exciting..A mini orchestra performing!

And then I saw the royal highness of Perak sitting in the middle of the stage.Cameras were all directed towards her.I didn't stay until the end of the event but in my mind I had already imagined them receiving their certificates from the princess of Perak.I imagined the faces of my family,relatives and friends who would be there someday,to celebrate with me.

The start

The old campus and the new campus are so far away.Ok maybe not that far but well we need to take the shuttle bus.And so today for class,since Malaysian Studies was in the old campus and class ended at 10 am.At 10 am,I need to go back to the new campus for Statistics class and I thought this was the end!Late for the first class ever.And I couldn't help but to feel slightly resentful for not following Yan Ruu earlier.But when we got there,she wasn't there.She came later.She said she took the wrong bus.Luckily there wasn't any lecturer in class yet.Luckily.

And so our lecturer was the middle-aged woman who looked fierce.However we did not study anything today as she said there would be some adjustments in the time table and the group.I looked around.Ok,I am the only Indian in my class.This felt really weird.Only Indian.Wow.I was scared.There were only 5 boys and 25 girls.I wasn't so surprised at the vast difference.

As I passed through the buildings,I realized that there were all fairly new.But the buildings however were so close to one another and it didn't have a taste of the past as compared to the old campus.The lecture rooms were all new.I saw many beakers as I passed through a Chemistry lab,all arranged neatly.I smiled to myself.No more Chemistry.For now at least.

In the afternoon,was Calculus period.A Malay lecturer came in and he looked like the no-nonsense type of man.But later as he briefly explained the chapters,I realized that he wasn't the very strict type.Good.

Why do professors have to be strict in the first place?

And so he taught us a little bit on functions.Injective and Bijective functions.New terms.But it was all revision.So it was okay.

In the evening,we cancelled our class.No lecturer appeared and we left class after about half an hour or so.

Later when I got back home and checked the name of the lecturer,I was surprised to know that her name was Annie.I wonder how she would be like.

No assignments for today.I couldn't help but to wonder how the rest of the week would be like.

Leaving.

I will be leaving tomorrow.Tomorrow.I seem a bit unprepared to face the reality of it.
Back to the assignments and well,square one.
It feels like it's the start of August.Like I just came back.
I remember that day when well my room seemed so different but it was the same room.

I looked at the tall coconut tree at the corner of the garden.This was the coconut tree that had seen me grow since I was a child.As I locked my gaze at it,I wonder whether he would still remember me when I was younger.

They have just left.The house is so much quieter.When will out next gathering be?
And now as I look at my bedroom,I see emptiness.An uninhabited room for quite a while maybe.

I wonder how Thava would be feeling the day before he would leave for the UK.I wonder whether he would feel the exact amount of confusion and nervousness or whether it would be more severe.I don't know.

I didn't feel the excitement as I looked at my pink dress that I would be wearing tomorrow for the party.Because in just a few hours time I would be leaving already.

I need God's comfort at this point to assure me.I need his strength or else I might just collapse.

Today's gift.

Time has been racing.Really.In another few days time,I would already be in university.I just want to keep my expectations really low this time.

We are all leaving already.Suthan who would be already sailing for a year.A year is really long.Thava who would be in the UK already.Though he can be really annoying some times,I would still miss him.Miss his madness.Miss his advises.One year.And we'll reunite again.

I still remember early this year how we said we would all meet up in August.August seemed to be like a promising month when we made plans early this year.A month of togetherness.But it's going to be over in no time already.Noooooo.

So the only promise we made was to meet up next year.Next year.I still don't know the right month for next year though but the thought that's on my mind right now-LEAVING.Everybody's leaving already.Towards their career.Towards their goal.

Time has been really fast this time.It's the end of August already.September was just around the corner.Sometimes,I wonder whether is it me or time has been speeding.Maybe it's just me.

Today is a gift.Yesterday is history and tomorrow is a mystery.
If you were to make a mistake,move on.Close the chapter and began a new chapter.There is  nothing else you can do.

I still remember the words a long time ago.And yesterday the words illuminated again.Reminding me again,maybe.

I can't hold the future in my hands though at times I wish I knew.Only God knows.
I will make the best of everyday.

And as for today,I know that I would enjoy tonight with them.That would be my gift for today.

Flashback.

There are times where I really need to be alone.Being in a crowd is nice for a while.Only a while.I often find myself being too claustrophobic,too congested.I need my space.I need to breathe.

But I find myself longing to be alone.I don't know but there is just the need to.

I think because I need some time to be on my own.I need to reflect on myself.

Today as I took the train back alone,I drifted away.It was so peaceful.I didn't have to talk to anybody.I just stared outside at the old shabby wooden houses and the field.

I felt a twinge of sadness as the memories came back.

The field that we would pass everytime we went for our usual bath.
The house we stayed.
The jungle....
The jokes.

I don't believe it.I still remember how the first week passed by so slowly and then time began racing.It was over.Over.

I don't know whether I would get over it.I don't know.

Today when I watched Percy Jackson-the Sea of Monsters,there was a part of the movie where Percy was alone and he talked to his dad-Poseidon who is a God,the God of the Sea.

I need to talk to God for some time to give me answers to things that I am still searching.I need to be with Him.Only He can give me the answers to my questions.

Chocolate break

When I went to the fridge today,I was shocked to see an odd flavour of the Kit-Kat chocolate bar-green tea.It wasn't that nice to me too.I preferred the original flavour-chocolate.

When I came back 3 months ago,all my eyes longed for was the chocolates,wrapped up in the purple wrapper.Cadbury chocolate.My gold.

I could eat it the whole day.If I was given a bar of Cadbury chocolates,I would devour it straight away.I didn't like to keep it as long as possible.It gave me the satisfaction when I was angry or depressed.

Cadbury.Cadbury.

It was a name I chanted to myself as I walked into the kitchen,towards the fridge hoping for it to be there.Waiting for me.

My wish was granted.I opened the freezer,my heart racing and there it was-Cadbury Delight.So it wasn't the original Cadbury chocolate bar but it was good too,it still had the Cadbury chocolate taste,Cadbury delight was slightly different as it wasn't pure chocolate but with a variety of nuts.It was good too.I think some aunty brought it over from overseas or something.

A  month later,I received a box of Belgium chocolates.
A month ago,I received a box of chocolates too.Roses were their names.All wrapped up like sweets with their different ingredients in the box.Some had mint,some were just plain chocolates.They were all wrapped up nicely with different colours.So pretty.

A week ago,I saw the green tea flavoured Kit-Kat chocolates.Still in the fridge.I only ate one bar of it.

It's not that nice.

I opened the fridge but all I saw was the pathetic green tea chocolate bar still in the fridge.And I knew that it would be a very long time that I'll get another bar of good chocolates.Maybe Christmas.
It was a sign to me,I realized.The end of good chocolates for a while.

And I thought again,I knew the sign-The end of my holiday.

Church blues.

Today I felt really sad especially after church service.Next week at this time,I would already be in Tanjung Malim.I don't know when will I see them next.I took photographs with them.I had to fight the urge to not cry.I will definitely miss them.

I do hope to come back asap to meet them.

Attached

It feels weird-the attachment.I still remember them.During the first week,and I was like 'How on earth am I going to ever connect with them??'.I could hear myself saying Impossible all the time whenever I looked at them.

After a month,the moment I'm online and there they are with their warm greetings.Those words-'I miss you'.

You remember me and deep down inside I know that you love me.

I just want to say that I'll always remember them.Always.Still finding it hard to accept the fact that they miss you.Wanting to know you.Those questions.And deep down,I was happy.I created that bond.

I wished I believed everything that had just happened.And those words.

I just want to let you know that I love you all very much.
Very much.

Photo editor

In the Twilight series,the second book New Moon focuses on Bella and how deals with life without Edward.At one point,he dad did ask her 'Are you ok, Bella?'.She was lifeless.She was found in the jungle the day Edward disappeared,and it was Jacob's clan that found her.She never did hang out with her friends because the only person she ever did hang out was Edward and he wasn't there,never talked to anyone.But when she did go out with her friend Jessica on one fine evening,she started imagining that Edward was around.Like she was hallucinating or something.And she heard Edward's voice buzzing in her ear all the time.She kept dreaming about him. She was also depressed.She was like an uncharged hand phone.Lifeless.

Returning home from Long Lamai reminded me a bit of Bella.But I wasn't as bad as her,I think.I dreamt of Long Lamai (the people.the kids and the peacefulness).Each day will go through,but it I never failed thinking about this magical place.I was depressed.I cried every time I looked at the pictures.I am sad.I related the things I did here to the things I did there.No similarity anyhow,but at least it probed the memories.

When I was young,I remembered wanting to have a house in the forest,with the meadows and the hills.Where you could lay in the hays and gaze at the stars.I have always wanted that.

I guess I got what I wanted.I wonder whether I earnestly wanted it at that point of time.I think I really did.And I guess God might have taken note of this wish that I wanted and decided to edit the place,the people to another place.Like a photo editor,where you are able to edit the the background,the color and you could even add captions on the photo.

God brought me to Long Lamai to meet some wonderful bunch of people.He didn't show me meadows and a cottage,but he showed me the jungle,the river and another type of people-the Penans who touched my heart in some weird way.God the photo editor did grant my wish.And best of all,I know that this people will always be treasured,and loved and will always be seen like a photograph saved in the computer.They were my photograph.And I wonder whether God would edit my imaginations into different ones.I hoped so because sometimes a little bit of editing on a photograph seems way better than an original photograph.

The Search

I realized I have been really depressed this past few days.Being in Long Lamai clearly helped me to push away my fears,and disappointments.I was prepared for Long Lamai,but I wasn't prepared to face life after Long Lamai.I just didn't want to.Maybe it was my fault.Plain ignorance.

The Search begins in the forest,where I am frantically searching for that flower.Where is it?My mind is racing.I need to find it.Only then,will I not be worried.But for now,all I see are weeds.Weeds,in the forest?How could there be weeds in this forest???I am always ducking my head when I see those trees with branches.And those branches are filled with thorns.I have to be very careful.Or else I would be pricked.But I need to hurry too.

I am going through The Search.Actually,I have been going through it for a long time.I still can't find that flower.I don't know what color it is.I don't know whether it has a fragrant.But I do know that I am searching for it.

And for now,all I know is that I have to keep finding,and finding...

Crumpled

I just hate that feeling when you're so excited about something,an event or what,and only much alter will you realize how screwed it was.How the tears are going to burst and you're just resisting that urge to not let the tear come out.And here you are so excited about it,but it backfires.Today was just terrible.And I just hate it when somebody puts you down.And I feel so down,down....

And today especially,I was really down especially when I am with a certain bunch of friends.And then I thought.Was it my fault?They didn't do anything wrong.But I knew I let them down.So badly.I could see from their expression.That was why I lied and said I had something on.But instead,I had nothing on so I had lunch on my own.

I cried when I reached home.I wish I had a really close friend.I wish I had this one and only friend.

I realize I wanted friends because I wanted to feel belonged.to feel loved.But not everyone could give you that kind of love.And I wonder how long would I have to wait.

Long Lamai,Day 2-Kids.

I really slept well.I will be going for church service today.I wonder how would it be like.I still remember as guests we had to sit in the second row.Then,the stares came.I remember a man who kept staring at me and I named him'Scary Man'.We all had to stand in front and all the villagers would shake hands with us.Cool,so cool.If they had it in our church service,I think church service would end before the preacher starts his sermon.A man who looked like he was in his thirties gave his sermon and Alvin turned to me and said "Tamen is father while,tinen is mother''.

After church service,we went back home.There was a little girl,maybe about 6 or 7 who was in the house.Later I found out that her name was Mikail.So all of us-Theresa,Daniel,Alvin and myself were in the living room.Kids started coming into the house.There was another kid and her name-Hidayah.There was also an old lady in the kitchen and her name-Aunty Connie.Pastor's mother.And Hidayah was her granddaughter.There was another girl too.She was always alone.She had tears in her eyes.And I approached her,and she just ignored me.Alvin then said that she has always been like that all the time everytime Alvin comes to Long Lamai for the past few years.The odd one out.Suddenly,she grabbed my hand and pulled me to the bench outside the house.Startled.I think everyone was.

However,she managed to join us and sort of get comfortable with us.Her name-Isah or Esah.I don't know.We had lunch shortly afterthat.I still remember not having an enormous apetite.Alvin was shocked,I wasn't surprised.Maybe I was just not used to the food here.Later that afternoon,Alvin asked Hidayah and Mikail whether we could go to the Bukit Doa.And the kids agreed.So we went hiking.And on the way,I touched some plant that had little white thorns from a small plant.And my whole palm was almost filled with it.I didn't realised it until I saw my hands.And they were all really small.So Theresa,Dan and Alvin were all helping to take out the white stuff from my palm.And afterthat,there were two woods to walk on as there were mud.

So I bravely took a jump to avoid the mud,but unfortunately  I ended up stepping on the mud.Not very cool.

The mud in brown and the two woods in dark brown.

However we didn't find the Bukit Doa as the two little girls were also lost and so we didn't go there.Mikail told me once we were back in pastor's house to come to her house for a while before going to the river.So I agreed and went to her house.And then I saw a man in the house and I assumed it was her father.He did look very familiar.And then I say Mikail's mother and I was surprised.This was the aunty who had come to pastor's house yesterday to cook for us.She smiled and me and then I was served water afterthat.Kinda awkward too.All of them were watching an English movie and there was this young guy who looked like he was in his twenties and a girl who looked like she was 15 or so.And Mikail then sat next to her dad and we all watched that English movie.Still awkward.Then,I excused myself and Mikail followed me back to the river.Then she said this.It was her first time seeing an Indian.They have only seen Indians on the televison.

Ok,shocked again.And I told myself this-More shocks on the way.You gotta be ready!And then we went to the river.The rest were already there.So I saw Theresa washing her clothes by the river and I followed.Mikail who was just too kind offered to wash my crocs in the river.Theresa found a brilliant way to wash clothes without using a brush.She used a smooth,oval stone and it did work actually.The stains eventually came off.

More kids came to pastor's house that night.There were more boys though.And then I saw her.A cute little girl.Ohhhhh man!So cute that the only thing I wanted to do was to carry her.And so I did.I carried her.And she willingly came to me.There was also a little boy who had a very spiky,hairstyle.He did look cute though.His name-Presley.When I heard his name,I was quite amused to find such a unique name.

Then at night,we went for church service also.I turned around and noticed that they were hardly any youths there.

When we went back home,the four of us had a conversation about the place,the kids and the people there.Then suddenly,we started talking about boy-girl relationship.And I guess when you start such conversations,it's quite hard to stop talking and discussing about it.So,we talked about stuff  and Daniel slept early but the 3 of us were just talking on that subject and only at 1 we slept.

Long Lamai-Day 1-First Sight.

Today is the dayyyy!I can't believe it but at the same time,I want to believe that is was already the Saturday.The Saturday that I would be leaving for Long Lamai,Sarawak.I remember waking up at 4am,but I couldn't really sleep that night in Austin's house because I was just too excited.I guess when you're too excited,adrenaline pumps your mind and you just can't sleep though it was a really tiring day(buying our food supplies and packing it all up in the storage boxes).

At the airport,my parents came and so did Theresa's parents.We had our breakfast at McDonald's and I couldn't really devour my chicken burger because I was so excited.Alvin was our chauffeur for the four days and after that he would go back.We would only meet Daniel at the Miri Airport and I wonder whether he would remember us.I still remember Daniel asking everyone for our handphone numbers and e-mail address during one off the youth camp a long time ago.But I couldn't really remember his features clearly.And all I knew about him was that he was a really funny and retarded.(I mean who in the world would ask for one's phone number and e-mail address if you don't know them?)

And I was fascinated with the take off.Take off time was always the best.But after coming back from Long Lamai,I don't want any plane rides please.Not a big fan of it anymore.

Faye and I at the airport.

And in the plane,Theresa and Alvin slept before I did.My mind drifted to Long Lamai.There were so many questions in my mind-How would the place be like?How would pastor's family be?Because I thought so much of Long Lamai,my brain was mentally exhausted plus I didn't really have a good night's rest.So I slept for about an hour.

And then when I opened my sleep,I saw the view(since I was sitting at the window seat),so I looked and far down,the sea stretched before my eyes.All I saw was the sea.And I thought to myself
Just imagine if the plane crashes,we would all end up in the sea.I started imagining other things after that.

When we reached the Miri Airport,we got our storage boxes and we went to check in the storage boxes.And then he was there,Daniel wearing his grey Unimas shirt.

All of us talked for a while before our flight came.I was shocked to see a small plane-MaSwings.I had never gone on one before and it was so cool!!We even took a picture with the pilot and the co-pilot.MaSwings is a 14 seater plane.And I still remember when we were about to land,I had an intense pain in my right ear.Everything felt so numb.Daniel told me to blow my nose and I did as he instructed but the pain still remained.

When we got down,I felt slightly better.My right ear was no more burning in pain.And then when we reached Long Banga,we saw the Penans.Suddenly,a young man came and he shook hands with us.''Vincent'' he said.And I was perplexed."Are you kidding me?This is pastor Vincent??????"

He looks more like a young boy than a pastor.
So that was a real shocker moment.
And then it was the boat ride.So my boatman was this young man and later I found out that his name was Boy Wang.Weird name.So weird.

And the boat ride was just the most amazing thing that happened for that day.All I saw were trees and the clear river.And I saw kids too who stared at me.I felt so awkward at first but I managed to wave at them.They were all having their bathe in their river.And I told myself this.

You are also going to bathe here for a month.Yeahhhhh man!!Then we reached Long Lamai-the place that would always be my home.Daniel led the way to pastor's house(it was his second time here).I saw people peeping through their windows to see us.I saw a green building but never knew what it was.

We ate the chicken rice that was bought by Daniel.It was so awkward.I didn't talk to anyone.Only Daniel and Alvin were talking to pastor Vincent and the 3 boatmen.Then I saw a girl,maybe about 12 years old in her sarung.She had just finished taking her bath.Later I found out through Daniel that it was pastor Vincent's daughter-Supang(her nickname).Her real name-Victoria.

Pastor and his family had to go to Long Banga for Women's Day.So they had already packed their things and left after we had lunch.I felt the house was rather quiet.Deep down in my heart,I was actually grateful for the quietness.

So the 4 of us unpacked the supplies in the storage boxes and we found some canned food that were crushed.So we threw them away and started repacking the canned food and all the packed food into the storage boxes again.

At about 5,we took our bath in the river.Daniel and Alvin directed the way.The water was just so cold.I remember we had to climb this tree trunk and then enter the water.Cold.Very cold.But yeah,it was really refreshing.The water was just so clear,you could see all the stones.Very clean and clear.I swam and just floated.Amazing.

At night we had a group devotion kinda thing.Alvin shared with us that night that he had a not good feeling about the team.He also added that usually when visitors come,the children would be crowding in pastor's house.But only a few kids came-Ujang,Atong,and Irwan(their nicknames).

We went to sleep later that night,but silently I was really sad.The tiredness masked my expression because I was just too tired and I had a really good night's sleep.I didn't wake up to scratch my leg or anything.The tiredness was just too much.

Mystery

I just don't know what I want to be.This feeling is terrible when most of my friends know what they are going to do.And sometimes when I think of the future,I feel so scared.I am not ready for it..

I really like Maths.Maths is my favourite subject.This is really weird because I wasn't a fan of Maths nor Add Maths back in secondary school.However,I did like it when I was in form 1 though.But anyway,this sounds crazy.Ron,my church friend was shocked when I told him that I was going to do Maths.
When I tell people that I am going to do something with Maths in the future,they all give me this funny look.

Actually,I started liking Maths in semester 2.Integration caught my heart.I couldn't say the same for Differentiation back in sem 1.But I liked all the Maths topics in semester 2.Probability an me didn't get along at first sight,but after much practice,I swallowed it all in my head.It's also my favourite topic in semester 2.So in Matriculation.there is no further maths and it is also way easier compared to Maths in form 6.So,when I enter uni in September,I have a strong,gut feeling that it would be harder,way harder.

I talked to my Maths lecturer and she said this "Maths in matrics is way easy lah compared to uni".
For a moment,I was very doubtful about it.And then I was like what the heck la.Nothing in life is easy.The phrase I always use to comfort myself when things are difficult.

So,I applied for courses related to Maths.

I am really nervous and excited about the future.Nervous because I don't know which course I would be offered in the local university and excited because my relationship with Maths  never ended.

But at the same time,I feel that I am a language person.I like English a lot.I like to read,and write and debate.So I had a conversation with one of my friends and she said this.

"You should take up law la.You'll make a good lawyer".

My foundation of a secure relationship with Mathematics suddenly became shaky.Maybe law is good also.

But then,if I were to take up law,I would have to read all the books on law.Tons and tons of books.Ok,I am exaggerating,but it's true.All those law books.No wayyyyy.Yes,I like to read.But I prefer reading fiction and non-fiction(biographies mostly) books.No doubt reading all those law cases are all interesting.But all the memorizing stuffed into your brain.NO WAY.

And so,I guess Maths would always never leave me.Maths is like this guy chasing this girl(me) and here I am looking,and checking out other "guys".You know what I mean.So,I found out that Maths was the one for me all this time.

Hopefully.I do hope we would get engaged soon.But in whatever I do,God,please lead the way.You know my future.Amen.

Come what may.

Elections are tomorrow and everyone are so pumped up.Especially with the advancement of technology,social media has became a medium to spread news,and videos regarding both parties.Facebook,being one of the most powerful social media is being used to spread news regarding both parties whether it is good or bad.

Flags and banners of both parties are everywhere on the streets.Whenever there is a BN banner or poster,there would also be the PKR posters.Both parties have put their banners and posters everywhere that   the only thing that is obvious to you when you are on the road is the red and blue thing.

Everyone is abuzz about politics.Dinner conversations,telephone conversations are all about politics.It has never been hotter and more real that it is now.

Campaigns especially from PKR have managed to bring a large number of crowd together.Some up to 30,00 people,lining up the roads just to hear politicians talk.Other government members are busy visiting schools,old folks home,and other institutions to help get their votes too.Politicians are defending their sides and promising new implementations such as Turun harga minyak that I myself am not sure whether it would turn out to be a reality or not.

The party that will continue to lead Malaysia will only be known to us tomorrow.It may be frustrating to some of us but to others,it might be the best news to them.We don't know yet but what we do know is that a change will take place.Whether or not the current government will continue to take it's lead or the opposition,there would be change of the betterment of the country because the people have voiced out all the injustice,corruption,racism to the government.The new government will have to fulfill their promises these time and  most importantly,take care of the welfare of the people.If the opposition take over the country,than they too would have to fulfill their new promises that they have promised the rakyat.

In both cases,this elections have brought many together as a community.The Malays,Indian and the  Chinese are all united in supporting their preferred party.On the other hand,whatever the result maybe,let us just hope for the betterment of the country.

I believe that whatever happens,it happens for God's reason.Let us all pray for a better government and vote wisely tomorrow.

Uncle Jeff

Uncle Jeff is a close family friend of ours.We became close to him because his son,Bernard and my bro,Leonard plays golf together.There was once was where there was a golf tournament in Perak and Leonard and my bro was participating in the same competition.I forgot the name of the competition because it was a few years back.

So,uncle Jeff brought my brother along to Perak because my parents were not free at that time.According to Leonard,Uncle Jeff spent a lot on the boys(Leo and Bernard).He brought them to the best chicken rice shop in Ipoh and bought all the delicious food for them.

He was in a position to do so because he was a renowned lawyer.He was a contract lawyer and is doing very well.He loves Bernard very much and would do anything for Bernard because Bernard is his only son.Bernard,wanted to study overseas because he said that the school system there was much better than the normal schools here in Malaysia.So Uncle Jeff packed all his things,together with his caring wife and left his law firm.When my dad told me that he left his law firm and quit his job there,I was schocked.

In my mind,this thought came.How great is a father's love for a son that he quit his job just for his son.
Bernard loved the school that he went to in Western Australia.Uncle Jeff and Aunty Christine continued finding for a job anyway.

The house in Seremban that belonged to Uncle Jeff wasn't sold to anyone.Uncle Jeff would come down once in a while to his house in Seremban because he had a knee injury and his operation was in Kuala Lumpur so he needed the house to rest.

A few weeks back,I called my mom from college and she told me that Uncle Jeff and the family were returning to Malaysia.I was shocked and I asked why.My mum replied saying that Uncle Jeff and Aunty Christine could not find a job there.Fair enough,I told myself as Uncle Jeff was the bread winner of the house so if he couldn't find a job in Aussie,than there was no point staying there.

My brother and I just visited him today.Bernard and Aunty Christine would be coming back next week as they want to linger a little longer there.

When we asked what was his next move on getting a new job,he said he applied for a few jobs.One of them was a lecturer in MMU.He then added then when you become a lawyer,you can branch into so many jobs and so on.

He is very God fearing man and whenever he spoke,he never sounded tense or anxious about the future.He was confident that God would make a way for him.

I was so fascinated by Uncle Jeff.Even when calamities strike him,he knew that God would make a way for him.I was also enthralled that he left his job as a contract lawyer just for his son.

When I went back and thought about it,I realized that Uncle Jeff lived in the present.He didn't worry about tomorrow and he didn't regret about his past.

I-DICA-Day 3-Goodbye!

Today was the day we were all anticipating for!We definitely couldn't get first place already because Labuan was the winner.Nevertheless,we knew we still had hope for second or third place.

When we entered the hall,the Vice-Chairman of the Matriculation Division gave her speech and soon

after that was the prize giving ceremony.

We cheered loudly when our college won first placing for the Rekacipta Montaj Competition.In this competition,the students had to make a video within the time limit.We all cheered proudly for them.However,our college did not win for the other competitions as well so we were hoping that we would be able to get the second or third place for the Musical Sketch Competition.

Our hopes well,turned into despair when Pahang was second and the part where all of us couldn't bear was that Negeri Sembilan got the third place.Later when I asked my teacher what was their sketch about,she said it was about how energy saver could help the animals.We did not see their performance because after our performance was theirs.So we had no time to watch as we were clearing all our props.

The Selangot team was also disappointed as they did not get any placing.Vinod,one of members of the musical sketch said that the judges judged based on a different criteria,

Well,we were disappointed too because of the hard work we did and the things we had to sacrifice (my sleep was cut shorter in the nights).Well.the point was that we worked very hard and that we thought our sketch was really good.

Eventhough still upset,we knew that deep down,we were better than the Negeri Sembilan team.We still had fun practicing in the night back in college and we had a really good time.

We tool lots of pictures that day before leaving.We were closest to the Selangor team.They were all the fun type,just like us and crazy of course!We missed them and the luxury we had for 3 days.

When we went to the bus,we slept.I think all of us slept because we were all so tired.

But this I knew,we had fun,We did our best.And we represented KMM for Nationals.

The team in the bus.

The I-DICA team from KMM.

Firdaus and Vinod taking a pic together!

I-DICA 2013,Day 2-The Competition.

So this is it.Today was our time to shine!!

The three of us woke up late.The boys however were all early.We quickly took our shower and rushed down for breakfast.When we got there,we saw all the others down already having their breakfast.Breakfast was good.Sausages,and hash browns.Corn flakes,bread and butter.It was all so much to take in for breakfast but nevertheless we hungry souls devoured our food and ate till we were full.

Our performance was the 13th one which was the second last performance.So we decided to watch the other college perform.3 judges were at the back of the auditorium,an Indian lady,a Malay woman and a Malay man as the head judge.We were waiting anxiously for the first group to start.However,their pronounciation wasn't clear and we knew we could beat them.The second and the third group was okay only.Nothing great.They did not manage to capture the attention of the crowd.

Briefing of the rules and regulations.

Miss Brenda helping with the make-up before our competition.

Then came a group of well,good looking boys and two girls.As we watched their drama unfold,we saw that these people had great pronounciation and their story line was simpler compared to ours based on the theme Energy Saver.We saw the eager spectators,all with their eyes fixed on the actors and then the moment came when one of the boys who acted as the I-Pod did beat-boxing!The crowd cheered!We were all so impressed.That was great!Abig round of applause came from the crowd.We then leant that they were all from the Labuan Matriculation Collge.Then the team from Pahang performed.They were funny and the crowd were laughing.They were good too,as we all noted.

We started to feel a little anxious.So we did not see the other performance.We did a full rehersal practice.Our teachers said that it was good and we were all well prepared.Then we went inside the auditorium again and this time the team from Selangor performed.The lead actor,Vinod had to change his shirt several times because he had to narrate the story during different situations in the sketch.Everyone was surprised at how fast he could change his clothes.

Then there was a short break and during the break it was announced that our group would be the first one right after lunch.So we got our props from our room and our teachers did our make-up for us.Half an hour before the competition,Firdaus lost his bag and everyone was on a search patrol to look for his bag.His lab coat was in the bag and he needed the lab coat as he was the scientist in the play.

Luckily enough,the people in charge found his bag and everyone became calmer afterthat.Then we got in and   did our performance.

After our performance everyone cheered and clapped their hands.I asked Miss Brenda on our performance and she said we did a really good job!!We were all so happy!

Afterthat,we decided to support our friends who took part in the other competitions.We decided to see our other friends who took part in the innovation competitions.

Students from the technical schools invented better gadjets than the students from the normal matriculation college.There was this one group who invented a portable charger.That same gadjet could also be used as a torchlight.Another group from Labuan invented a temperature regulatory water bath.The water bath can be adjusted to any temperature.That was also fascinating too us

After seeing all the gadjets that had been invented,I went to the room and had an hour's sleep while the rest went for tea.

That night,during supper we made friends with the team from Selangor.The winner would be announced that night itself.The Selangor team and us were talking about the competition and all when one of the teacher's of the Selangor team informed that Labuan won first place.We were all disappointed.We thought we were going to win first place but nevertheless,there was still an oppurtunity to be 2nd or 3rd at least.We continued our conversation with the Selangor team and at about 12 we headed back to the room.

I-DICA 2013-Day 1.

We were all so geared up for 1-DICA 2013.When we finished our class at 12,we rushed back to our rooms and quickly got out bags.Then we got all our props and costumes to the bus.When we entered the bus,we all received two shirts.One was a formal shirt while the other one was a long sleeved shirt.Both shirts were sponsored by the college itself.

We met new friends in the bus though we are all of the same age.It was a pleasant ride throughout the journey from Melaka to Port Dickson.We were all looking out of the window.Then the view came-the sea.Atiqah and I were so excited.The rest continued to do their own thing in the bus.

Then we reached out hotel-Glory Beach Resort.My first impression of the hotel was-Oh no,it's just a normal hotel as the building did not look so grand as the other hotels we passed by.Then it occured-They can't afford to book a hotel for 2 nights for 400 students.Hence,it was a normal 3 star hotel.

When we got there,we saw other students from other matric colleges.It was an eye opener for all of us to see other students from other colleges.

The view as we got out of the bus.

The I-DICA team from KMM.

We had a briefing session in the hall when all the students arrived.Afterthat,we were allowed to check the stage for the musical performance.

Well,we kinda got like a shock when we saw the so called "stage".How were we going to do this?

However,we managed to do a short practice quickly as there were other colleges who were queing up to practice too.We managed to estimate our positions and props.

Then we got into our apartment.All the girls from my college were in an apartment.There were 3 rooms in  the apartment so Eunice,Atiqah and I bumped into the same room.

Camwhoring in front of the mirror.

Then we washed up and all before heading down for dinner.Oh the food!!After like 5 weeks of matric food,here it was-Paradise.

Enjoying the desserts after the main course.Yummmyyyyyy!

Then we headed to the hotel for the boring 2 hour talk on I-DICA.We were all so tired.All what we did was snap photos.

After that,we had our supper and straight went to our room for a good night's sleep

LIFE

“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it"

Decided to post it up here because this poem is everything to me.It defines life..

I-DICA 2013-Them(part 1)

I-DICA 2013 is one of the prestigious competitions organised by the Matriculation Division in Malaysia.It's the abbreviation for Intelligent Design,Innovation and Creativity Award.The competitions under this programme are the Kreativiti dan Inavasi Sains,Inovasi Usahawan Muda,Kreativiti dan Inovasi Kejuruteraan,Musical Sketch,Dokumentari Penghayatan Nilai dan Jati Diri and Rekacipta Montaj.

Basically most of these competitions are inclined towards science and technology.

My classmates and I represented our college for the musical sketch part.Of course there were other representatives from our college who took part in the other comepetitions as I mentioned earlier.Two of my guy friends also represented the college for the National Olympiad Maths Competition.

It was the first time my friends and I took part in a drama competition.So none of us had the firsthand experience.However,there were amazing teachers from the English Unit who helped us edit the script and gave us new ideas.

Lee Zhi Yang.I choose him to be in the team because of his great ability to music.Yang,as we all call him is very muscially oriented.He plays the erhu in the sketch.

Eunice.The hyper-active chinese girl I have never met before.She became the narrator for the sketch.

Firdaus.One of my closest friends in class and the most outgoing Malay boy I have ever met.A big fan of Lady Gaga and has an obsession for designer clothes from Topshop.Andddd,his voice captured the hearts of many during the performance.

Atiqah.The most outgoing Malay girl.In our class,she would be the one asking the most questions.So she became  Tiqa,one of the village lady.

Last but not least,the crazy girl with the loud voice-me,as one of the villager.

These combination of the 3 races brought us to nationals.However we were chosen to nationals without even competiting with anyone in our college because of the poor participance from the rest.

I guess we were all the hyperactive bunch.

The five of us(in red) together with the team from Selangor(in black).

Our teachers who guided us were Miss Brenda,Madam Gurcharan Kaur and Mr.Adib(who followed us to PD for the finale)

Surprise surprise!!

After a month not coming back home,I was so excited to come back.When I reached home,the first thing I did was scream "I'M HOMEEEEEEEEE".I ran to the kitchen and into the back room when my brother told me he had a gift for me.

So I was so excited.Yayy,Leonard's gonna get me a gift.And then he said this"Why is the house so quiet?".So I replied back and said "cos I just came back".Little did I know that there was a big surprise awaiting for me.

He then opened my bathroom door and there there were.Tush and Mohana.

"SURPRISEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!".

I got a shock of my life.You should have seen my face.It was so epic.

I was so shocked that I rolled on the bed.

All this while,they were hiding in my bathroom.So that was the gift.The two musketeers.I was shocked okay.

I well,wanted to take the cab or get  a lift from somebody to take me to Tush's house.She just came back from Argentina and it has been a year since I last saw her.

But I guess my plan didn't work out,because she and Mohana gave me a surprise.

We then ate our lunch.It did not occur to me why my mom would get that box of KFC chicken.I thought there were visitors in the house.My,my.It was actually for all of us.

We talked a lot.Tush told me all the breaking news about Argentina.Most of the news were shocking to me.Tush is not that innocent girl anymore.Haha.Mohana already knew most of the stories because Thava and her visited Tush a week ago while I was still in  Melaka.

It was a great day spent with good friends.And it was good to see Tush back after a year!

Half empty or half full?

Do you all still remember the half empty half full cup analogy?

People would ask you'll whether the cup is half full or half empty?Some would say half full others would say half empty.When you say,half empty,they would say that you are a negative person.

Remember?

Maybe,maybe not.

But this is what I remember.Some adult told me to look at it at half full.Because it meant that I would look at it at a positive perspective.

But here's the thing.I looked at the cup half full a long time ago.

Here is the reason why I will choose half empty if you would ask me half full or half empty.

Because half full means contented at what you already have.For example,achievements.
But half empty means not achieving what you don't have.For example a qualification.A masters for example(everyone gets a degree nowadays).

Knowledge for instance.Knowledge is something so complex.I would say knowledge is omnipresent.You know it's with you,but you can't see it.Even till you die,one never stops learning or studying.When you go to the library,you can't possibly read all the books in the library because new stocks would come in or you won't be able to apply everything that you have read.

Experience.Experience only comes with a lot of practice.An experienced teacher is better at teaching than a newly graduated teacher.Not all experienced teacher,but most of them.Only by experience can someone be good at something.

These are the things that I can think of right now.I don't know why I suddenly thought of this analogy but I guess it crossed my mind and when I thought harder,I decided to write about it.

Seremban fever!

I am currently studying in Kolej Matrikulasi Melaka,Londang.My college is no where near the city.It's far from it.It's in the rural area where you'll pass green paddy fields,old kampung houses and ocassionally a herd of cows crossing the road.The scenery is very different you see compared to my hometown,Seremban where there are no paddy fields,one or two modern kampung houses and mostly chinese eateries everywhere.

Masjid Tanah,the nearest town is about 15 minutes away from my college.This town is usually crowded with college students as they would usually but their food supply or just hangout with their friends at KFC or indulge in a bowl of Cendol or Asam Laksa.There is no shopping mall in Masjid Tanah.So if you want to go and eat Sushi or but the latest branded items,then you'll have to take a cab to Melaka itself which is about an hour or so.

I would usually go to Masjid Tanah once a fortnight to buy my food supplies.The environment in Masjid Tanah is very different to Seremban as there are more eateries,boutiques and shopping mall in Seremban.Living in Londang is like staying in a jungle area.

Coming back after an exam or on certain weekends to Seremban turned me into a foreigner in my own hometown.I would look out the window and just look at all the buildings,shops,and restaurants.Absence makes the heart grow founder.

Being at home now just made me realise how much I missed Seremban and everything about it!There is no place like home.

I don't drink.

Right.This is something everyone should know about me.I don't drink any sort of alcoholic drink.

I know this is weird because there are some drinks.Certain wines for example have very mild alcohol.But I still don't drink.There was once where I went with my family to some dinner or something.I can't remember exactly where but the adults were enjoying their wine.Even my mum took a glass of wine.My mum offered me a sip of the wine.But I refused to drink though it was merely nothing.  

I still don't drink.I will never drink any sort of alcoholic drink for the rest of my life and this is something that I hold firmly to.

I strongly think that people should have very strong core/firm values that they should hold on to.Because these are the values that defines a person.

Well,if you're going to put some Brandy into that fruitcake,I am not gonna eat it.Haha,just joking lah!

Them.

I don't need the whole world to be friends with me.

All I need is a circle of friends.

And I realised how important these friends are to me.

The four of us in Yacht Club,Port Dickson.

Good friends,I call them

They well,enjoy your presence,and the best part of it all

you feel completely at ease with them.

And I am lucky to have wonderful friends 

who are there for me

because without them,

I don't think life would be as colourful.

These are the people that means a lot to me.

They are more than friends.

I love them.

Friends.

You guys mean a lot to me.

My church friend,Charmaine and I.

Love life

So here I am back again with more stuff to share.

I've been thinking lately about life.I realised that time seem to past by so fast especially when you're having fun with your friends or doing the things that you like.

And then I thought about life.How life can be so short.I am already 19 this year.19.This is my last teenage year.I can't believe it.I am practically an adult already.Independence and freedom are slowly sipping into my life.Then there are decisions and tough choices to make.I realised being an adult is like having this extra sense.

I am very nervous about the future actually.Because I don't know what is going to happen next.Back in school,all I knew was that the future would be going to a next form and etc.But now,it is a whole different thing.I will be exposed to the world.The people out there and all,the working life and all.

Now that's a lot to grasp for a young 18 year old like me.From being taken care of everything by my beloved parents to being independent.That's seriously something to be worried.

Mistakes are bound to happen.I have and would made mistakes.Such examples would be choosing the right friends and so on.These things are not foreseen by me.

So I thought about it.And this was what I finally came up to.Life would be full of disappointments,heartbreaks,loneliness and so on.But no matter what happens,I would still embrace life and continue moving forth.Because I know that life is beautiful and I will love life for all it has given to me no matter what happens.Will you too?